Holidays are historically a tad more stressful than the rest of the year. Not only do many of us legitimately miss loved ones that have gone on, we have expectations ingrained into our minds that create anxiety.

We are taught from childhood that this is a "magical time" - therefore we are expected to be happier and more positive as soon as pine trees are planted precariously in our parlors. Usually that magic is lost on all but the very young. So many adults work at inoculating themselves against wonder, joy, magical feelings, amazement, delight…

Instead, we worry. A lot. We worry about buying the right gift, the credit card bills in January, will the storm windows hold another season, will my car start tomorrow, are my thighs too fat, is my hair thinning and will that spray paint cover the bald spot?

And, of course there is the added burden of the "perkiness factor." We are supposed to suspend all of our usual grumpiness about the world and just be happy. Happy Happy Happy. Truth is, many people just don't want to be happy. It is just too hard. They wish the holidays would go by quickly.

So this year, would you like to enjoy the 40 days of "Thanksgiving - Hanukkah - Kwanzaa- Christmas - New Years?" Hey, it could be your last, you never know. Here are 9 Tips For Reducing Holiday Stress:

1. Last time I checked, no one named "Wonder Woman" or "Superman" reads this rag - so, you don't need to do it all yourself. There are people out there who clean house, wrap gifts, cook, file, walk the dog, and do all sorts of support work. They need employment during the holidays and we need you to be sane. Hire them.

2. Every person you know doesn't need a gift from you. A real note, an e-mail or a phone call will make a lot of people happy. The joy of the holidays is in connecting with those you love. There is no price tag on that. If you want to do something special, give it some thought. Sometimes the perfect gift is a gift certificate to a favorite bookstore, spa, beauty parlor, or golf course. (Or, of course, one of my books! ) Find things that are easy to wrap, easy to mail, easy to transport.

3. A lot of people have moved this year so their addresses have changed since you wrote them last. Oh WELL! Many of your cards and notes will come back. Be ready for that. Start a basket for the returned correspondence. Follow up at your leisure. Set aside 1/2 hour a day to handle correspondence and be done with it a little at a time. Create a way to track new addresses (and while you are at it, note that I no longer live in Hawaii…)

4. While politicians would love it if you spend spend spend, we don't need you going into cardiac arrest in January when the credit card bills arrive. Create a holiday budget and stick to it. In January, start that Holiday Club savings account at your bank or credit union that you have meant to start since 1982.

5. Your house is going to be a mess for about a month. People will spill things; dogs will get confused about foliage in the house. If you live in the snow, guests will track in mud and dirt, if you live in Hawaii, they will track in sand. Oh Well! Choose to enjoy the holidays and don't sweat the small stuff. Memories of family, friends and joy will last far longer than that stain on the carpet.

6. Your house, part 2 - You will cram all your regular things into nooks and crannies so you can put up the decorations. Some of your decorations will be broken. You will probably break a favorite glass or bowl you put away for safekeeping. You will also forget where you crammed some of your belongings. You may discover you don't care come January. Be grateful that you own enough things that you have a storage problem. Then give some of it away.

7. Be conscious of what you eat, but don't try and diet right now. And no, just because it is a tiny tiny tiny piece of chocolate, it is not devoid of calories. Try eating some healthy food before you leave for parties. Apples are great (as long as they aren't dipped in caramel and nuts!) because apples have a chemical that helps to stem hunger pains. Drinking lots of water before, during and after parties will also keep you from over eating and over-imbibing. (Plus, think of all the extra exercise you will get searching for rest rooms!)

8. Which brings me to -- Get extra exercise during the holidays to keep stress at bay. You don't need to drive around for an hour to get the closest spot. Parking further away gives you a little more exercise. Save the close parking for people with disabilities and those that are way older than you. Not only will you exercise as you walk through the lot, you may prevent car door dings by parking in unpopular spots … and you will get into the mall far sooner than those who drive around for hours looking for a space next to the door.

9. Finally - Be safe. Pay attention to others in the parking lots and stores. Watch your purses and wallets. Don't carry more than you have to. Don't flash money in front of other people. If your intuition sounds a warning, pay attention. And get into the habit of locking your door the moment you get in your car. As an added precaution, women, when you put on your seat belt, slip the belt through your purse handle first. If someone tries to reach into your car and grab your purse, it will be secured.

Be kind to each other this season. Even if you aren't stressed, remember that other people may be. Not everyone finds this a jolly time of year. Ramp up the consideration and tolerance a little. Take lots of deep breaths, and don't take it all so seriously. We are in this world together. Consideration, kindness, generosity and patience go a long way to reducing the collective stress on the planet.

Take care of yourself this year! We need you!

Beth